Monday, July 21, 2014

Smile, It’s Monday: Your Weekly Wake-up Call to Create the Intimate Relationship You Desire


If God had wanted me otherwise,
He would have created me otherwise.
-- Goethe

There really is no alternative to being authentic. Believe me, I spent the greater part of the first half of my life trying to find one. When you are inauthentic in your relationships, you become resentful, depressed, insecure, and unable to trust others.

This is why most intimate relationships fail after a few months. You are at your most empathetic when you want someone to fall in love with you. Loneliness, desire, and desperation impel you to attempt to become what the other person is looking for and make your loneliness go away.

Yet this is a negative form of empathy that distracts you from assessing who they are and whether they have what you truly desire in a partner. You act well enough to win an Oscar, but then walk away with an award that’s short-lived and steers you away from what you truly want.

After awhile, you grow weary of acting like someone you’re not, and you start to peek out from behind the mask. Then the shock hits. You cry out in disbelief: “I thought I knew them but I guess I didn’t.” Once you can no longer reconcile your current reality with the fantasy you helped perpetuate, the relationship fades into nothingness, and you feel empty again.

This week, make a commitment to approach your (current or future) intimate relationship in a way that preserves your integrity and honors who you are and what you value.

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Anthony Silard is the president of The Global Leadership Institute and the author of the Simon & Schuster book The Connection: Link Your Passion, Purpose, and Actions to Make a Difference in the World. To receive Smile, It's Monday each week in your inbox and a free copy of Anthony's new audio CD, "The Surprising Source of Your Passion", enter your email here (1-step only).

Monday, July 14, 2014

Smile, It’s Monday: Your Weekly Wake-up Call to Live the Life You Have Imagined


Athletes always have to believe that there is
something [more] they can do in the coming season.
It’s when they can’t visualize themselves
running any more quickly that they give up.
--- Sebastian Coe

What will be your monumental accomplishment in the coming season? Do you have some projects you’re excited about, or are you short on motivation and long on routine? Identify a significant challenge or “stretch task” that will provide a call to action and return to purpose.

Why is this so important? Because you may need a new season in life.

When you were younger, it was all set up for you—next semester, football season, summer camp, school clubs, new courses, school trips, the prom, a study year abroad—there was always something around the corner to look forward to.

Now it’s up to you to either create your own program and determine new milestones for your life or fall prey to office-drone syndrome. If you succumb to this national epidemic, one season will blend into the next and before you know it you won’t know why but you just won’t care anymore.

This week, create a new season in your life by pursuing something you have been putting on hold that deeply resonates within you. Same old routine or a new season characterized by a compelling goal that piques your deepest motivations—it’s up to you.

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Anthony Silard is the president of The Global Leadership Institute and the author of the Simon & Schuster book The Connection: Link Your Passion, Purpose, and Actions to Make a Difference in the World. To receive Smile, It's Monday each week in your inbox and a free copy of Anthony's new audio CD, "The Surprising Source of Your Passion", enter your email here (1-step only).

Monday, July 7, 2014

Smile, It's Monday: Your Weekly Wake-up Call to Make a Difference in the World


Avoiding danger is no safer 
in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
--- Helen Keller

If Keller is right, then since you are never completely safe anyway why not go for it and choose the daring adventure?

At the age of nineteen months, she suffered from a disease that left her blind and deaf. Rising to the challenge posed to her by Anne Sullivan, a gifted teacher, Keller learned how to use Braille to read and communicate in five languages.

In 1904, she graduated magna cum laude from one of the top universities in the country, Radcliffe College—becoming the first deaf and blind student to graduate from a U.S. college. She went on to author several books and travel the world campaigning for the rights of the disabled.

How about you? What compelling goal would you like to pursue that will leave this world better than the way you found it?

What will be the convergence of your life with this world you inhabit? How will the lives of others be changed by your presence and contribution during the brief time you are here?

This week, reflect on the change you want to be a part of during your time on this planet. Then take a bold step into your daring adventure.

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Anthony Silard is the president of The Global Leadership Institute and the author of the Simon & Schuster book The Connection: Link Your Passion, Purpose, and Actions to Make a Difference in the World. To receive Smile, It's Monday each week in your inbox and a free copy of Anthony's new audio CD, "The Surprising Source of Your Passion", enter your email here (1-step only).

Monday, June 30, 2014

Smile, It’s Monday: Your Weekly Wake-up Call to Become a More Effective Leader


Don’t just do something, 
sit there.
--- Thich Nhat Hanh

The best way to connect with your inner purpose is to take time alone to consider what you truly want out of life. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. Almost everyone around you reinforces your activity and steers you away from inactivity.

Your parents, teachers, and other role models most likely taught you how to do, but not how to be. Yet, in the words of Ram Dass, you are a human being, not a human ‘doing’.

You were probably told countless times as a child: “Don’t just sit there, do something!” Yet why didn’t anyone ever say, “Don’t just do something, sit there!”? If no one else ever told you it was OK to just be, how will you feel telling yourself?

Refuse to take time out of the game and you’ll only win until those who slow down enough to contemplate not where the ball is, but where it’s going to be next, render you obsolete.

If you design clothing, your styles will soon fade as designers with more creative vision steer consumer tastes in other directions. If you teach children, your lessons will lose their edge as other teachers discover methodologies that kids relate to more. If you run a company, you will lose market share as other companies rapidly innovate while your products designed for yesterday’s consumers make their way to the back of the shelf.

This week, make a commitment to integrate regular, periodic time to reflect on your life into your schedule.

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Anthony Silard is the president of The Global Leadership Institute and the author of the Simon & Schuster book The Connection: Link Your Passion, Purpose, and Actions to Make a Difference in the World. To receive Smile, It's Monday each week in your inbox and a free copy of Anthony's new audio CD, "The Surprising Source of Your Passion", enter your email here (1-step only).

Monday, June 23, 2014

Smile, It’s Monday: Your Weekly Wake-up Call to Become Your Greatest Fan


If you hate a person, you hate something 
in him that is part of yourself.
What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.
--- Hermann Hesse

Do you see ‘For Rent’ signs when you walk around your neighborhood? Sure, if you’re looking for an apartment. Do you notice the Volkswagens on the road? Yes, if you’re in the market to buy one.

I once contracted a roofer who showed me a page of sample shingles and asked me to pick the color I wanted for my roof. The next day, I walked around my neighborhood and was surprised to find the shingles on my neighbor’s roofs were all different! I had never even noticed them before.

Do you even know what color the shingles are on your own roof? You only see in the world what’s already inside you.

The same is true for every other person you know, and this is why fretting over disapproval is not worth your time. When you don’t get the job, or your call isn’t returned, or you get stood up on a date, it means the other person has projected their cumulative life baggage onto you and you haven’t passed their subjectively-designed test.

You remind them too much of their older brother who stole all the attention, or their ex-girlfriend who was too needy, or not needy enough, or the teacher who never called on them. Approval is not a reflection of you, but of how others project themselves onto you.

This week, write down one strategy you can implement to be less influenced by the good opinions of others and more influenced by your own life priorities.

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Anthony Silard is the president of The Global Leadership Institute and the author of the Simon & Schuster book The Connection: Link Your Passion, Purpose, and Actions to Make a Difference in the World. To receive Smile, It's Monday each week in your inbox and a free copy of Anthony's new audio CD, "The Surprising Source of Your Passion", enter your email here (1-step only).